beach

so we went to the beach on thurs and friday, it was refreshing. however there was no nightlife in the town so it was gay ass. i got burnt on my back, sly got fried on his front. below is a picture of my back, and if you'll notice there is a seagull looking outline in white...i dont know what that is but im pretty sure its not a gull. one

ouch

so on my way home from school today, i saw a dead guy laying in the street. at least i think he was dead he wasnt moving and they put a big blanket over him. surprise surprise the guilty party was a chick in a huge SUV.

keep your mouth closed

sexy right? at first the seemingly gorgeous woman with tiggles and a most likely bomb ass seems flawless (random hot chick btw i got it off the web). hmm interesting this reminds me of an event that happened the other day on the bus. so i see this hot chick and i kept making eye contact with her, so i flash a quick smile. aside: don't judge a girl until you see the teeth. she smiled back at me. ew. ew ew. she looked like a fuckin horse and i am not exaggerating. she had the worst fuckin teeth ive seen yet. like she was hot on the outside like a 9, but shit clean up your fuckin teeth bitch you look like a horse. she had at least a 1 inch overbite, her teeth slnated outwards, gaps everywhere, crooked, orangey yellow, bad tooth to gum ratio, the whole 9. an orthodontists dream really. but that is a problem i have noticed here, lots and lots of bad teeth. however some chicks ive seen in their mid 20's have braces, so i guess theyre tryin. what a bonerkill. btw there are pics of lindsay lohan naked all over the internet. awesome.

boner kebab

this is what i like to call a boner kebab. i call it this for 3 reasons. 1: the name of the place you get these delights is called 'doner kebab' . they are in all major cities in spain. i think. they should be in all major cities everywhere. 2: they are boner inducing because of taste. 3: you can get this delectable treat for a measly 4 euros. a huge sangy dripping with meat, lettuce, tomato, assorted veggies, different colored sauces that i cant pronounce but are delicious, a butt load of fries and a can of the most refreshing coca cola classic. so fuckin good. i crave these at night instead of dominoes. i would walk 500 miles for this. bitchin. and there are infinity jokes you can make too and it is acceptable no matter how gay you sound. for example. "yo ernesto, im so hungry for a boner with white sauce oozing from it" or "ohhh myy gooodddd i neeed a boner in my mouth right noww" or "I am craving a boner right now" i could go on all day but you get the idea. oh one more thing, i dont know what meat they put in it, could be anything really. no matter ill eat it. tootaloo

august 08 is gonna be a good month

this girl gives me a boner

http://www.barstoolsports.com/article/wake_with_marzia_prince/2060/

truth

so the girl from jersey sly bumped uglies with banged another one of our roommates last night after the club. they met for the first time last night btw. slut. that brings the count to 4 different guys in our apt that she has hooked up with, none have which talked to her since. fuckin jersey girls...

girls are dumb. example 4

Fact: a mans brain is larger than a womans.

Example 4: around the lunch table i spit out a movie quote from a very recent movie, which was quite relevant to the conversation – “ya know what movie I watched the other night that kicked fuckin ass? Munich. If any of us get laid tonight it’s because of Eric Bana in Munich.” Now im sure you can all guess this quote because your all dudes and superior to “those things with long hair” ©TRMD. Anyways, girl sitting across from myself wants desperately to know what movie its from and I refuse to tell her so she resorts to guessing and seems veryy confident in her answer of Dazed and Confused. Dazed and Confused…? Fuckin moron. Eric Bana would have been 8 fuckin years old when Randall “Pink” Floyd and the rest of the class of ’76 had the summer of their lives in that movie. Bitches just don’t think before they open their mouths, which concludes example 4. but I’m sure there will be many more to come because the stupidity never ends

chupiteria

so there is this place called a 'chupiteria' translated into english is a 'shot bar'. so we walk into this place located in granada and its packed with locals. it must be good. heres the deal. all shots 1 euro. they have over 100 different types of shots they have listed on a big board behind the bar. they also split the shots into 3 groups: strong, medium. and weak. i was very satisfied with this place. well done spain. also, with every shot you bought you earned a ticket. they had prizes like tshirts and hats for a certain amount of tickets. kinda like a chuck e cheese for big kids. anyways i got a hat, 15 tickets. we need more places like this in the home country, so any entrepreneurs reading this...combine a shot bar and chuck e cheese and you get the 'chupiteria'.

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on feb 2 2008, we went to the beach. it was nice.

3 rings look better on 1 hand anyways

boooo

yes booo to the pats...way to fuck it up. i would first before i rant like to congratulate the new york giants on their win, way to go. im not gonna say it was lucky or a miracle, the giants are a shitty team and they played shitty, but unfortunately, the pats played even shittily. the giants are not good, eli is mediocre, their running game is decent, and their defense is good, but easily beaten. first i would like to call out the offensive coordinator of the pats...awful play calling, too many examples of terrible calls in the first 3 quarters. however, unfortunately i noticed 15 mins before the o coordinator did, i said quick slants bc the pocket closes quickly bc the giants dline is quick. weird, lets throw like 9 passes, most quick slants to my friend wesley, result: TD. it took way too long for the pats to adjust, the giants did some hw, touche. lets also not forget the 3 ridiculous miracles the giants had on the last drive. mariweather missed an easy pick to end the game and so did asante, and also the blind bomb that eli threw to tyree in 5tuple coverage... what the fuck seriously. so in a bar with mostly pats haters, we come out victoryless...not a word but i think appropriate. tonite tom brady and the pats played their worst game of the season to an ok team who was on a roll and lost. this game was stupid until the 4th quarter when i actually felt like i was watching a game. the first 3 quarters i found myself focusing on pacing myself for another pint and a piss before the next quarter started. in conclusion, soak it up giants fans, your semi-ok team beat the greatest team ever assembled in the history of football, bc of poor effort and lack of awareness. is this bills fault? could bill have possibly made poor choices? or was it our seemingly perfect quarterback, terrible game, terrible terrible yet still almost the same passer rating. when the pats play at the level of their opponent, they are vulnerable, which leads to this question: maybe the giants arent shitty, maybe the pats WERE just so fucking good that when they play a normal game, they can be beaten, even by a team like the giants. eli still sucks i dont care if they won, but hey, i bet the rams said the same thing about brady.

im pissed off. im not going to class tomorrow.

girls are dumb. examples 1-3

girls are dumb. its science. example 1: girl wonders since we're in Spain if the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west. retard. example 2: were visiting some ruins and a girl picks up a rock and says "do you think this rock is 2000 years old". retard. example 3: girls books trip for carnaval in cadiz...probably gonna be the coolest night...but as we all know girls are dumb. she booked a hotel like 30 mins away from cadiz, she thought it was in the city, but the description said it was an easy train ride to cadiz. retard. thus concludes example 1-3 of why girls are dumb.

one