patience

were gonna make a post about amsterdam eventually because theres just so much to tell, but we need to wait until our brain cell count returns to normal before we can speak good and write out well-constructed sentences again

guten tag

spanish bars rule so hard

with spain being so much different than the US, its no surprise that they have some very different types of bars too. we've already told you about the chupiteria (shot bar/chuck-e-cheeses) that rewards you with more tickets the more shots you take which can be redeemed for prizes, clothing and sexual favors. now once again for all you entrepreneurs out there, keep your eyes wide open and read very carefully cause im about to drop some heavy knowledge on you
so we were in barcelona last weekend and heard they had some nice bars to offer so we jumped in some taxis, which charged fuckin crack prices, but it turned out to be well worth it

bar#1: not sure what the fuck it was called, but basically they serve mostly mixed drinks, only the smallest sized mixed drink you can get is 2 liters. naturally the group i was with opted to buy the largest drink offerered: 13 liters. good old whiskey and coke. keep in mind, for most people a good mixed drink is about half whiskey and about half coke... if these were the proportions that this bar followed as well, which im pretty sure they did, this means that approximately 2.5 - 3 handles of whiskey went into this one huge fuckin goblet of booze. we had roughly 8 or 9 people on this one drink and i think its safe to say we all ingested enough alcohol to last us most of the night

bar #2: the dow jones. whats the dow jones? a company responsible for a stock market index in which the prices of stocks listed on the exchange constantly change. whats the dow jones bar? a bar responsible for getting you as sauced up as possible by offering every drink of theirs at constantly changing prices. what a fuckin idea! updates brought to you by scrolling digital screens reporting current prices of all beers, shots, and mixed drinks. i felt like i was at an AA meeting on wall street. jagerbombs drop to a measly 2 euros each and shit gets wild cause no1 has seen one that cheap since '93. people scream to the bartender 'buy buy!' to lock in this great deal before the prices change again and this steal of a deal to a. take a great shot b. get a little bit of energy and c. call every girl in the bar a 'fuckin skank', passes forever
if either of these two bars showed up in boston or any other college town, it would be packed out several nights a week and would definetly stack mad paper nigga
so even though we all had had our fill of alcohol we decided to head to this club up in the mountains that overlooked all of barcelona to get our grind on... looking out over the city at this view all any of us could say was "... to medellin". barcelona aint so bad afterall

girls are dumb example 6, 7 and 8

im sorry for such a quick installment of girls are dumb again, but i gotta write about it before i forget. example 6: leaving class today, one of my peers pointed out a sick drawing of jesus that a student did on the desk. we were admiring how amazing it was and how real it looked, and then a girl walks up to us and said "whoa thats amazing, who drew it? it cant be real, its too good. someone definately traced it." if someone draws something on a flat surface, it cant be traced. you can trace something onto a piece of paper, not a table. example 7: this conversation occurred outdoors in a park. "can we smoke out here [a cigarette]". no comments needed. thats just dumb. example 8: we were talking about text messages, "what does text stand for?" ouch. this is a bad one. after i called her out on this she still continued to ask me what it stood for.

girls are dumb example 5

there are so many reasons why girls are dumb, but here is example 5. as an intro i would like to say that there are many examples that occur in my everyday life as well as yours, but some are honest mistakes that both males and females make. but this one is just dumb. statistics show that about 70 % of college students drink,and that the other 30 is lying. and 99.93% of the drinkers know what "Beefeater" gin is. Most have never had it, nevertheless, know about it and more importantly how to pronounce it. Here is where girls become dumb. Example 5: walking in the streets of Barcelona, a girl notices that there are a lot of ads for Beefeater. So she turns to me, DBE, and says "hey dan, what's 'bafedder'" Thats how she pronounces it. ba- fed-er instead of beef-eater. Its not even spelled differently than it is pronounced. 2 simple english words contracted to make one longer word. not hard. needless to say, i couldn't respond, i let the other 6 people we were with attack her and call her out on this childish stupidity. ya were in spain but shit... beefeater? c'mon now. anyways this concludes another episode of why girls are dumb. adieu.

the dopist dope ive ever smoked

teddy ballgame, a kid in our residencia from mass, has balls bigger than johnny chase when he decided to do a few eps of pacific blue... the wrong guy can look real dumb holdin a gun. anyways, this kid went to amsterdam for a nice little weekend and figured itd be a good idea to bring back a bag or two of pineapple express-esque greenery. boy was he right. this stuff is more of a one hit wonder than Chumbawamba. that shit thurgood and his boys smoked in Half Baked that made them float out the window probably came from the same batch as this shit. nothin more to say really, im gonna go enjoy it