spanish bars rule so hard

with spain being so much different than the US, its no surprise that they have some very different types of bars too. we've already told you about the chupiteria (shot bar/chuck-e-cheeses) that rewards you with more tickets the more shots you take which can be redeemed for prizes, clothing and sexual favors. now once again for all you entrepreneurs out there, keep your eyes wide open and read very carefully cause im about to drop some heavy knowledge on you
so we were in barcelona last weekend and heard they had some nice bars to offer so we jumped in some taxis, which charged fuckin crack prices, but it turned out to be well worth it

bar#1: not sure what the fuck it was called, but basically they serve mostly mixed drinks, only the smallest sized mixed drink you can get is 2 liters. naturally the group i was with opted to buy the largest drink offerered: 13 liters. good old whiskey and coke. keep in mind, for most people a good mixed drink is about half whiskey and about half coke... if these were the proportions that this bar followed as well, which im pretty sure they did, this means that approximately 2.5 - 3 handles of whiskey went into this one huge fuckin goblet of booze. we had roughly 8 or 9 people on this one drink and i think its safe to say we all ingested enough alcohol to last us most of the night

bar #2: the dow jones. whats the dow jones? a company responsible for a stock market index in which the prices of stocks listed on the exchange constantly change. whats the dow jones bar? a bar responsible for getting you as sauced up as possible by offering every drink of theirs at constantly changing prices. what a fuckin idea! updates brought to you by scrolling digital screens reporting current prices of all beers, shots, and mixed drinks. i felt like i was at an AA meeting on wall street. jagerbombs drop to a measly 2 euros each and shit gets wild cause no1 has seen one that cheap since '93. people scream to the bartender 'buy buy!' to lock in this great deal before the prices change again and this steal of a deal to a. take a great shot b. get a little bit of energy and c. call every girl in the bar a 'fuckin skank', passes forever
if either of these two bars showed up in boston or any other college town, it would be packed out several nights a week and would definetly stack mad paper nigga
so even though we all had had our fill of alcohol we decided to head to this club up in the mountains that overlooked all of barcelona to get our grind on... looking out over the city at this view all any of us could say was "... to medellin". barcelona aint so bad afterall